Just For Laugh

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!

A few days ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Barack Obama...

The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Obama, please say 'how r u'.  Then Mr. Obama should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'.

Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.'

It looks quite simple, but the truth is...

When Mori met Obama, he mistakenly said 'who r u?' (Instead of 'How r u?'.)

Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:

'Well, I'm Michelle's husband, ha-ha...'

Then Mori replied 'me too, ha-ha....

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.

SURPRISE

A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Hello, could you give me condom. I'm going to my girlfriend's place for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!"

 

The pharmacist gives him the condom and the young man leaves. He soon returns and says, "Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike it lucky there too." 

 

The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says,"Go on, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner, think she is expecting me to make a move!

 

During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. 

 

When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying, "Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you give us." A minute later the boy is still praying; "Thank you Lord for your kindness." Ten minutes go by and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down.

 

The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend is even more surprised than the others. 

 

She gets close to the boy.... and says in his ear, "I didn't know you were so religious." The boy replies , 

 

"I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist!" 

SURPRISE -(Be strong, honey. I love you)

 

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

 

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "listen, this guy's an escaped convict look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you"

 

To which the wife responds: "he wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I Love you too!!"